Husband Shopping Center

There was a "Husband Shopping Center" where a woman could go to choose a husband from among many men.

It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if
you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor: The door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids".

The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.

Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking". Hummm, say the girls but, I wonder what's further up?

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework". "WOW!" say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.

Fourth Floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak". "Oh mercy me, But just think! What must be awaiting us further up!" So, up to the fifth floor they go.

Fifth floor: The sign on the door said "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Please exit the building and have a nice day".






Source

http://www.hehe.at/funworld/archive/fun4you.php?joke=2658
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A Confession

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little leaving speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'
Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his speech.
'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession.'

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3 year old kid killed his father

There was a twin Romeo and Tino. Romeo was thinner than Tino. He thought he was thin because his brother Tino drink all his milk. One day, he applied poison at the tip of his mother nipple when his mother was sleeping. His target was his brother Tino. The next morning he found his father body lying on the floor dying with poison




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Prisoner Mail

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.”

The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.”
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Umpiring Pregnancy

Once a man’s wife gets pregnant and is rushed to a hospital.
Unfortunately, the man was out of the city , when he got a call from the doctor to inform him about his wife.
He hung up but unfortunately he didnt know how to redail, so he tried to remember the number and called, the number was incorrect and went to an umpires phone(a man who keeps the score of a cricket match like a referee)
The man asked the umpire not knowing who was on the other line and said: “What is the condition?”, The umpire replied, “4 are out!”, “8 are going to be out soon.”
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